Formula for a Happy Baby
11
The debate over breast vs. formula is, in my opinion, silly. I nursed all four of my babies with tons of success, except for the one who tried to eat my boobs. Girl #2 would. not. latch. on. Despite the valiant efforts of the hospital’s lactivists (mostly in making me feel like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t feed my kid) I had to (ssh!) give her some formula while my bleeding nipples* healed. Guess what? She’s in Middle School now and has straight A’s! Isn’t that amazing?! That me feeding her some formula didn’t make her into a moron?! I’m so glad.
By kid 2, though, I had already become a believer in the magic of formula. When kid 1 was born, she literally bobbed her head for food, latched on, and we had a perfectly harmonious ‘nursing relationship’ from the start. But when I took her in for her 4-week visit to the (woman, mother) pediatrician, Mom/Doc said these magical words:
“Why don’t you give her a bottle of formula at night? Your husband will be able to feed her one bottle a day and it will help her and you sleep through the night.”
She had me at husband feed her. But of course my reaction, as I had been trained by the WHAT TO EXPECT Kool Aid Society, was I CAN’T FEED HER FORMULA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! Do you think I am a BAD MOTHER who wants a STUPID CHILD!??!?!!??!?!?!?
But what did I do? I did what a first-time mom does (back in 1994, anyway). I listened to the doc. And guess what? I had a baby who slept through the night by 6 weeks of age. (And repeated the pattern to end up with four children who slept through the night by six weeks of age.) So I am not one of those ‘formula is from Satan’ people. (Also, they all slept on their stomachs from 4 weeks- cart me away, Social Services. Babies on their backs have funny-shaped bald-spot heads and look like upside-down turtles. My mom raised 6 of us sleeping on our tummies, and the pediatrician told me ‘for 30 years we told parents to put babies on their stomachs and they seemed to do fine.’ Done.)
Also, I happen to think that as a mother, our job is to feed the baby- however you do it is between you as parents and said baby. Parents are barraged by outside influences and the instincts are basically beaten out of them by well-meaning outsiders (who should be told to put some ’shut the eff up’ in their bottles and suck it). I hate when people judge and comment and tsk-tsk and all that crap- whether it’s a mother in law, consdescending playground mom, online ‘community’, doctor, lactivist, WHOEVER, I think moms could really use a little more support (and not just for the sagging boobs we have as a result of our lil darlings) and a little less ‘you just wait..’ and ‘what you should do…’ and ‘what I did..’ crapola.
So, anyway, this is a paid post and I have digressed.
I’m letting you guys know that there’s a formula sale exclusively at Walmart! A blue light special really great price on Parent’s Choice–here’s the info:
For a limited time, Parent’s Choice Infant Formula is available as a special buy: parents can buy two cans for just $10!
· Parent’s Choice Milk Infant Formula is on sale in a 15.5 oz (440 gram) can for $5.00 each.
· Parent’s Choice Gentle Infant Formula for babies with fussiness or gas is on sale in a special 12.9 oz (366 gram) can for $5.00 each.
THERE IS FORMULA FOR FUSSY BABIES? They had not invented this when I had little suckers babies, so I was forced to attach a small tube I invented, which siphoned Jack Daniels out of its bottle, through the sleeve of my spit-up covered t-shirt, beside my nipple and down into the happy mouths of sleeping-thru-night babes.
(KIDDING! God. Of COURSE I am kidding- do you think I would let an infant baby drink Jack Daniels!??! Obviously not. They prefer Bailey’s, because it’s more milky! Duh.)
For more information on Parent’s Choice Infant Formula, visit www.parentschoiceformula.com or http://www.storebrandformula.com/.
*ew. sorry.
Great post! There is so much judgement of women going on by other women and it really makes me angry. I solely nursed my daughter and by the time (4 weeks) came along to introduce the bottle she absolutely refused. It was a nightmare. Only breast milk from my breasts for her. I nursed her until 18 1/2 months. When my son came along we gave him one bottle of formula a day from the beginning. I thought that I would get a little break and my husband could finally feed his child. However, my son also had different plans and ended up refusing the bottle altogether. 17 months and I’m still breastfeeding. I am really dreading what weaning him is going to be like. I imagine it’s going to be a nightmare. Anyhow, my point in all this is that it seemed that my mother and mother in law were never crazy about the fact that I was nursing (they both bottle fed), so I’m judged by them, and at the same time, I would never ever tell my friends that my son got even one bottle of formula a day, as if I were poisoning him. In the end, we moms need to trust ourselves because we know what is best for our children and we should support one another in that. again, great post!
I find myself much more judged by people who use formula than I myself have ever felt compelled to judge a woman who uses formula (which I have never done). People, including my sister, mother, and close friends, say the following to me:
“Are you STILL breastfeeding?” (my son is 8 months old)
“Is he sleeping through the night?” (No, but studies show that this is based on a baby’s temperament and not on formula or solids. My son slept through the night from six weeks until six months, at which point he began teething.)
“Is he biting you? He will!” (he hasn’t once in the two months he’s had teeth and most of my breastfeeding friends say this hasn’t been a problem)
“Aren’t you going to wean him soon?” (not until after this cold and flu season, after he is a year old, and when he shows an inclination)
To be honest, the real reason I stuck out breastfeeding through three months of blinding pain (I had cracks and thrush) is not so much because of the health benefits, but because I honestly don’t know how women can afford formula. That’s the same reason I use cloth diapers! I haven’t spent one penny on either formula or diapers (the diapers were given to me as a gift) and THANK GOD, because as it is we are living pay check to pay check. My niece formula-feeds her baby, and my brother and his wife are constantly having to stop by Costco or Sam’s Club to stock up on diapers and formula for her, since she can’t afford to buy it herself.
Sorry for the long rant! In the end, I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH YOU that a mother’s instinct is best. Great post!
Thanks for this post. It reflects pretty much exactly how I felt a million years ago when I was in this position. It didn’t seem to matter what I did, I always felt like I was a neurotic zealot on either side depending on to whom I was talking. Sitting on the “meh, feed your kid” fence will do that. It got to the point where it was entertaining to get the BF zealots going. I couldn’t really get the bottlers going because I couldn’t find them. They’d been driven underground. Any time I potentially encountered any, they were not likely to say anyting because, you know, I was breastfeeding, so I was One Of Those [sigh].
Fortunately, my close friends were on the same fence with me, so we had some good laughs about it.
For the record, I did both. At the same time. Also mostly for the reason of getting/letting dad (& babysitters) do it. If you ask anyone who calculates these things, I quit “way too early” but it was when it was correct for us.
P.S. was looking forward to after-Halloween for the tarty costume ad on the left to change. Am thrilled that it did, because the tarty Santa costume is even better! Would consider getting it if it came with the boobs.
I always say…as long as a baby is healthy, loved, and fed, who the hell cares what they’re eating??!! I made a personal decision to breastfeed my son, but that was MY decision. And know what? He ended up having his own plans. He nursed awesomely, however, when he was 9 months old, he was done. Sure, I could have tied him down, laid on top of him and half smothered him with a boob to get him to eat, but I chose to give him evil formula. And he walked 2 weeks after he started formula, and he is still going strong today, pretty damn smart kid if I may say so myself =) Anywho, I’m with you, the debate is silly, and pointless. Go fight about neglected and abused kids, instead of healthy and cared for ones!
These DDs were just screaming to feed babies.. this I did not know when they came in at a whopping D cup at the tender young age of 15! So they weren’t really intended as popularity pillows, WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE CLUED ME IN!
#1 did the formula thing now and then, he now plays 5 instruments, is class VP, on honor roll and chicks dig him so I guess “the girls” can’t take all the credit.
My only problem w/formula feeding comes SHOCKER from my Husband’s family.. his lovely cousin from Staten Island (yes all the stereotypes are TRUE) actually said this TO ME ask I was nursing my son “Oh I would NEVER breast feed little Nicholas, that is like incest or something.”…think little Nick might have some “issues” when he grows up?
Yeah for getting PAID!
I had an easy go of it with my son, but before he was born I was open to formula if he needed it. I don’t like when people judge either, but I will say this, I have a hard time with mothers who don’t even try to breastfeed once. And they get angry with hospital staff for wanting them to try. They say, “why should I put my tits in my kid’s mouth?” or stuff like that. But…it’s the only reason we even have “tits”, right? I mean, if it doesn’t work for you, fine, I don’t care, but just give it a shot.
Also–I heard this from a lactation consultant–formula won’t hurt them, but breastmilk won’t make them fly. Do whatever works.
I exclusively breastfed dd for the first six months, and then we did both formula and breast milk. She’s a happy health too smart for her good little 4yr old.
I breastfed my son for about 6weeks, before switching to formula (different set of issues, it wasn’t pretty)
He’s a happy healthy too smart for his own darn good two year old.
My decisions may not have been what the local LLL would recommend, but they were best for me and my family.
Oh how I HATED breast feeding. Sore, cracked, bloody nipples. Mastitis. Oh yes, now that’s a party.
I pumped my milk and made my husband get up to feed the babies in the middle of the night. He was the one that knocked me up and I was the one with 7,000 stitches holding my vagina together.
I switched to formula after 6 months because my gorgeous boobs needed a rest.
I have to agree with Sandy- as someone who breastfed both kids until they self-weaned at 11 months, others judged me as being one of those fringe-granola-hippie people for breastfeeding.
You also have to remember, formula is manufactured by pharmaceutical companies, who pay hospitals millions of dollars to push formula on new mothers. The underlying message behind those cutesy diaper bags and sample cans of formula they are paid to give you at the hospital is “Breast is best…but we know you probably can’t do it.” It’s a slippery slope.
THANK YOU! I’m still too traumatized by my experiences with both kids to put all these things down on paper. I missed the window of opportunity to bond with them because I felt obligated to try BF as long as I could, as long as they weren’t starved to death. My oldest didn’t stop crying for the first week, didn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, etc. cause he was hungry. LLL actually told me that babies are supposed to go hungry so they will learn to latch on. Vicious cycle, anyone? I wore the BF attachment to try to con my 2nd child into thinking that what’s coming out was actually breast milk and not formula (from a tube attached above my breasts). I cried the entire time. I was a mess. I don’t judge. And I don’t wish to be judged. However, even till this day, I still feel the guilt for not BF for longer than a month.
Breast feeding is great if you want to do it and if the baby wants to do it. Although I have a life philosophy in which you could replace the word “breast feeding” in that first sentence with anything (pacifiers, meat in baby food jars, golf…) and it works.
We must be on the same wavelength, Mary. I recently wrote a blog about my experience with La Leche League. As pro breast-feeding as I am, they just sucked all the fun out of it.
http://just-humor-me.blogspot.com/2009/10/le-leche-french-for-its-not-for.html