Bow Chick on Chick a Wow Wow
21
Right up front I am going to admit to shamelessly stealing this post idea from Barefoot Foodie.
I also have to admit in advance to this post being boring because I have never played for the Home Team. Not even in college when like a redheaded friend drunkenly sorta-almost tried to make out with me. I’m the boring girl who married her high school sweetheart, so I didn’t have the tequila-driven, experimental, Catholic Schoolgirl short-skirts phase that I’m sure other girls all had. (Please do tell in the comments section!)
Putting aside Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie because everyone, regardless of gender, on Planet Earth is required to have a crush on them, here are my top six girl crushes, in no particular order except for #1.
6.) Old School/First Girl Crush Ever: Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman
Let me count the ways: boots, star-spangles titties, truth lasso. She is just hot. I was watching Sky High with the kids and when she walked in playing the principal, I think I may have Jizzed in My Pants.
5.) Black and White/Vintagey Girl Crush: Audrey Hepburn
If you are a living man or woman who does not have a crush on Audrey Hepburn, please admit yourself for psychiatric counseling.
4.) 80s Girl Crush: Madonna
Why? Because she’s fucking Madonna, dude. (Gotta say I miss her kinda trashier 80s days now that’s she’s all Zen and weird, affected accent and shit. But I would still totally lick her.)
3.) News Anch-whorey Girl Crush: Campbell Brown
Ann Curry from the Today Show was like a close second, but dude, Campbell Brown is Smoking. Hot. If I was ever a famous NYT bestselling author and Campbell Brown interviewed me, I would have to wear a skirt and big fat maxi pad to mitigate my wet panties.
2.) Girl I Hate to Love Crush: Chelsea Handler
I hate myself for loving her. But funny and smart get me every time and she is effing funny as shit. And she’s like all bitter-funny, which is yummy. And holy effing crap, are those tits REAL?! Because, wow.
#1 Girl Crush Of All Time: Debra Messing
My husband is fully aware that I would leave him for Debra Messing, and he said he’s cool with it as long as he has access to the video- so it’s all good. This is a total (Will-and)-Grace-on-My-Face, hard core, make me into a lesbian crush right here. I thought I was straight my whole life until I saw the first episode of Will and Grace in like the 80s or 90s or whenever it was, and then I was all “Put Me in Coach, I’m ready to play for the Home Team.”
Well, while I go look for that vibrator I bought when I randomly had a sex toy party one time and have never opened, why don’t you tell me who your girl crush is?!
Holy eff. “Grace-on-my-face”. Awesomeness. You should totally have that trademarked.
My hair is red & long. My husband refused to give his stamp of approval on my cutting it last week (what is it with guys & long hair?) so I permed it & it’s now my Debra hair. He’s enjoyed it! I think he’s gonna have to call me “Grace” in bed tonight – just for you!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Lindsay Wagner (Bionic Woman) would be a close second to Wonder Woman, but of course she didn’t have the cool outfit with tiara. But she kicked some serious (what a turn-on) ass!
Where to start. I love the fact that now “all surrounding universes” has been added to your title. Fantaaaastic. I guess Daisy Duke was just a guy thing (and she did not age well IRL) I don’t think your crush on Debra Messing makes you a starter for the Home Team though since she has the body of a lithe teen boy.
Hmmmm… girl crushes? I’m pretty crazy for Jennifer Aniston, like the she’s so pretty and sweet and Brad-is-a-huge-douche-for-leaving-my-girl-for-a-tramp crazy. And, I have a I’m-gonna-hate-on-her-bootyliciousness-because-I-wanna-be-her thing for Beyonce. Other than that, I’m not really into girls. But dudes…I can write for days on the celebrity men in my life. Days.
Girl crushes…hmmm. I gues I’ve always had a thing for Jen. You know, Jen Aniston (we’re cool like that). I’ve always been crazy about her. Not in a I’d hit that if I was like that crazy, more Brad-is-a-douche-for-leaving-my-girl-for-a-tramp kinda crazy. Oh, and I can also say I’ve been pretty I-hate-on-her-bootyliciousness-because-I-wanna-be-her with Beyonce for like 10 years. And, last but not least. Britney Spears. I know, kick me. But bald headed and barefoot in the bathroom can be hot. I guess that’s it really. I’m not that into girls. But, dudes? I can write pages on my celebrity male lovers. Days.
Feel free to delete my first comment…Didn’t realize it posted and then I recalled that I wanted to add Britney so typed it again from memory so now I look like an idiot. My bad, it’s a sickness!
Holy freaking hilarious! I love it…and I’ll only admit to one… (cuz I’m really THAT picky about my chicks!)
Kiera Knightly….have you seen that woman in Love Actually…Hello where can I get me enough surgery to look that freaking beautiful!
http://www.pajamasandcoffee.com/
One more time. Blonde moment.
My first girl crush started just last year. I (heart) Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. Incredibily intelligent and has a great sense of humor. I just get goose bumps when she kicks someone’s a** in an interview. She is my superhero.
Katherine Moenning – The bootycall girly crush because I know I would get off – OMG I know, I know – Shane from the L Word
Sofie Allsopp – Obligatory British girls crush – her British accent gets me every single time – right in the panty area
Julia Stiles – Girl next door crush – I don’t know what it is about her – I love her voice, her look, her hair, her skin….her creaminess gets me all creamy
I have to add Jennifer Garner (when she first came out and was not so skinny), Gwen Stefani (with No Doubt when she had Pink Hair), and Kate Winslet (when she doesn’t look like a toothpick).
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE : MY REAL LIFE GIRL CRUSH – This girl could snap her fingers and I would have my panties off
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y164/charissej/MeMyBia.jpg
Crushing on you Mary!!!!!!
Shannyn Sossamon – http://www.squirlmunk.com/images/walls/ShannynSossamon.jpg
My good god she’s ridiculous!
I, too, love Barefoot Foodie and that turtleneck photo. Hawt.
I looooove, love, love Rachel Maddow. Love. I would switch teams for her.
I can’t stand Angelina Jolie. I don’t think she’s pretty, honestly. I can see that, clinically, she’s pretty/beautiful… but I look at her and go, “Meh.”
I think Megan Fox is amazingly hot… except she needs to eat about 10 cheeseburgers and stop talking.
Let’s get this out of the way- I LOVE your site. Been sitting here reading your posts for ten minutes. Loves it.
I love Rachel Weisz. Rachel Weisz as Tessa in The Constant Gardener- my wildest girl crush in a long time.
oh, mah, gawd. Someone is giving me permission to voice the chicks in my life that give me a total hard on? (that’s hard nipples to all you guys out there trying to work that one out…take your time…)
Angelina Jolie, because she just does it for me. Crazy freak, tattoos and all that chicks got some serious sex appeal.
Shane from the L-Word…*swoon* shes hot and I honestly have no idea why but she is. I want her. Smack a bow on that biatch and ship her straight here.
Like you, Debra Messing – wow, just wow. The red head thing is totally working for me, crazy girly curls the lot.
Jennifer Love Hewit, I dunno she’s just so damn cute and rather short I just want to stuff her in my closet for later.
Last, but certainly not least, my all time whole hearted makes me want to bat for the home team is Jane Goldman, the wife of Jonathan Ross (a UK celebrity). She is so sexy, with her flaming red hair and gorgeous curves. That woman has got it going on!
So yeah there’s a few women who do it for me, even though I’m quite happily straight. But if Jane Goldman shows up on my doorstep, I’m hoping on a Harley with my woman and riding off into the sunset…for reals.
Haha I definitely agree with your number one. As for news-ettes, my tastes differ a little. I’d put Erica Hill or Ann Curry above Campbell. Great blog!
Wholy freakin’ carpet buffet woman! Some how I suspect there is a catholic school girl costume next to the wonder woman in your closset.. A new book idea, mayhaps?
Yeah Jen and Ang don’t count. Everybody wants them (insert Billy Squire riff here). Newsie girls.. um how did Solidad O’Brian not make this list?! She gets the Achor Girl AND the Brown Sugar props. I’d have to add the lovely Kate Winslet (smart chicks and dudes, for that manner are hot). Madonna not so much, me and penicilin don’t get along so well. Debra Messing, oooh yeah. I hate USA for taking away my Molly!!!And what about sexy ugly, Sarah Jessica Parker?
Of course I have to weigh in on this one because my biggest girl crush is not EVEN LISTED…. Kate Beckinsale. WTH, people? Have you ever seen her look bad? No. I didn’t think so! And yes, I am into Angie. And Megan Fox. But Jen? Nope – Jen-shmen. My trashiest crush is Lindsey Lohan. I know, I know. I’m gonna stop now.
Wow.
I have girl-crushes, too… but what do you expect from a guy? I don’t have guy crushes. At all. Having said that, I’ll say that some of the ladies o your list are on mine too
Debra Messing: Usually to skinny for my tastes, but the red hair does it. I wouldn’t look twice at here if her hair was any other color.
Rachel Maddow: Hey, I don’t care that she is gay… she is attractive, funny, and holy crap is she smart! I love the smart chicks (I blooged about my Rachel Love last year: http://gunfighter1.typepad.com/warrior/2008/09/the-mysteries-of-love.html
Helen Mirren, Emma Thompson, & Kate Winslet, all together because I dig the British accent as well.
OH, there are more… but thats just a sampling. As for Jennifer Anniston, frankly I don’t see what anyone sees in her. Doesn’t do a thing for me… and neither does Angelina.
I just realized how many typos were in that comment. Really, I’m literate… I promise.
[...] all about Girl on Girl action… Ahh Yah… The idea isn’t original – I totally stole it from Pajamas & Coffee and Barefoot Foodie – but at least the three of us have different tastes in women. I have to [...]