25 Random Things
10
It’s Monday, so I’m feeling lazy. Thusly, I am stealing the old Facebook note staple (also used in each issue of Us Weekly, to which I, embarrassingly, subscribe- and oops that would be 26 things now.)
So it’s Get To Know Your Blogger week. Celebrate.
1. My husband and I (who got married after college) went to each other’s 80s high school proms. This photo says it it all, yes? The hat can best be explained by the fact that I worked in the Accessories department of Gimbel’s department store- and God, how big were my boobs in high school?! Plus: how secure in your masculinity do you have to be to wear a white tux with a pink rose on it??
2. The three things I want most in the world are a boob job (reduction/lifty), tummy tuck, and a new car because mine sucks ass.
3. I was editor of my high school and college newspapers. (ok, who’s shocked?)
4. Ooh! And a new dishwasher.
5. If I could do something ‘else’ with my life I’d be the gardener at a huge historic mansion, with my own greenhouse to smoke pot in work in.
6. I don’t remember a time in my life when I have not been reading a book.
7. Although I rocked suntan hose in the 80s, I have always HATED pantyhose and hereby declare I shall never wear them again. EVER.
8. I have never skiied or been out of the U.S. (taking my daughter to turn 16 in Paris next April- can’t wait!)
9. I have horrible hair and wish I could wear a baseball hat every day, instead of just most days (where did I put that pink hat?!).
10. If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing, it’s the time that I spend alone.
11. I do not care what is in Slim Jims or hot dogs or Scrapple, because they all rock. (can you believe my teenager is vegan?)
12. My favorite candy is the underappreciated, hard-to-find Clark bar.
13. I named my second child after a Ruby Tuesday waitress.
14. I am in favor of the legalization of marijuana.
15. I have seen every episode of the show Weeds, it’s my fave (and is there a theme in this list?!)
16. Even more than the boobjob/tummytuck/dishwasher, I want a literary agent.
17. I love the 1881 Victorian house we live in, but not having central air sucks donkey.
18. I sleep with a pillow on the top of my head- always.
19. I just broke the 100,000 point threshold on my Ms. Pac Man arcade game- given to me by pals for my 40th bday in May, it’s my coolest possession. I even got a tat to match. There’s random for ya.
20. I can’t cook but I’d like to learn someday.
21. I have head-splitting migraines that have been known to cause mini-strokes where I can’t see or talk- so I think I am going to die young of like a blood clot/major stroke in my brain or something. Not to be morbid.
22. Wow, am I fucking boring or what?
23. I go back and forth between thinking I suck as a writer and fantasizing about being on a book tour because I am on the NYT bestseller list.
24. I’m the oldest of six but my older sister died when she was a baby, which means my mom had 7 pregnancies. I also had 7 pregnancies, but they included three miscarriages. I love my 4 children more than anything, but sometimes their needs/demands make me bat shit crazy, and then that makes me feel like a crappy mom.
24 1/2. I am a crappy mom.
25. I honestly believe the vines and bugs are going to take over the world.
Is that weird?
You are one hot 80s mamma! Woo hoo for the pink!
Duude! you looked like a cupcake. and anything that resembles a cupcake is good in my book
You CAN learn to cook. You absolutely can.
And my prom bouquet had something in it that we finally decided was asparagus.
Ah that brought back memories of my pink 80′s prom dress…
I forgot that you worked at Gimbels (with my dear grandmother Dot). You SO rocked the hat and the big boobs!
You never fail to make me laugh.
Your 80′s dress and boobs picture rocks!!
Whole crap Bat girl, were have you been all my life huh?! And see having just met you in the mundane (aka real) world I’d have to say there won’t be any let down. You ARE as cool as you seem. Now I know why you were rocking that righteous brown sun had. If my head weren’t freakishly big, like James and the Giant Peach big, I’d SO wear hats. But as I get older and wider (no that is not a typo) I realize that the pumpkin head was all in the plan. I never thought my ass would expand far enough to ballance out the cranium.. go figure! You are an amazing writer, I’d know, I’m one too.. and after all it takes one to know one right? You’re a great mom, if your kids are any indicator. Of course you could be a really sucky mom and your kids could have just grown up so cool because you have great neighbors. Who knows. Paris, it’s great. The only problem is the infestation of French people. You’d think they’d do something about that, after all it would help tourism. I say we find a nip tuck doc who’ll give us a 2 for one.. BOGO.. hell if it works for shoes why not tits and tummies? Thanks for a fun afternoon can’t wait to stalk your blog daily!
Not WHOLE crap.. DAMIT! I wanted to come off all “cool” in my first comment ever (here at least) and what do I do? Discribe what a tree huggin’, hemp wearin’, hippie left over leaves in the crapper! DAM, DAM, DAAAAMM!
Never proof read before you hit return.. it’s so pase. Be the “real” you in all your ignance!
Lara: it’s the neighbors; and I only wear hats because I refuse to do my hair.
great meeting you and look forward to more Maryland Mommyblogger Madness!