I am too broke to send my kids to camps this summer. (it’s not “I believe in free range kids” it’s “I can’t afford to send four kids to four camps because they seem to like eating better.”) My high school kid is going to drama camp for a week (because- really? who DOESN’T want a high school girl to learn MORE DRAMA?!) but that’s it- other than that (she’s been going a few years so is ‘grandfathered’ under broke law), it’s just me and the four kids. Home. All summer. Insert echo: Allllllll summmmmerrrrr…

Luckily we have a nice pool (please refrain from wisecracks about how maybe if I didn’t have a second mortgage maybe I could afford summer camps) and this provides hours upon hours of swimmy enjoyment. So in addition to CAMP SWIMTILYAWRINKLE (one towel a day, campers! One towel a day), we have a few other camp programs here at ChezMac.

Main survival technique this summer? CAMPHAPPYNAPPY. This term, introduced to our family this year by Bobby’s preschool, is what they call the 1-3pm period at school each day. So I have borrowed the concept for use here at home. Pool hours are 10-12, then lunch, then 1-3 HAPPY NAPPY (definition: you don’t have to go to sleep, but you can’t stay in my face). They can read, sleep, ipod, DS, watch a movie, eat peanut shells, or whatever the hell else they want except be on the first floor of the house or making noise from above. I often supply a huge bag of craft-making supplies for the 2 middle girls so they can do crafts. But these two hours at least let me get a slice of work done during the day- and maybe once a week, I indulge in a little Happy Nappy myself, curling up with Bobby and a book and snooze. 3-5 we usually swim again.

So another great camp program I’m offering this year is CAMPGOCLEANYAROOMA. This exciting once-a-week camp is full of fun activities for the young campers, from vacuuming and laundry management to bringing dishes back to the kitchen and get-whatever-that-is-out-from-under-your-bed, our campers are rewarded for their efforts with a bowling trip, trip to the movies, or day at the beach here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, where we’re lucky to be surrounded by beaches.

Then of course there is CAMPFAMILYVACA- a one week trip to Cape May New Jersey which the kids look forward to all year. We used to stay in a huge herd of in-law family members, but I voted us off that little episode of Survivor and now it’s just our little 6-mac of family members in an adorable isolated cottage where I don’t have to have too much social interaction with anything other than horseshoe crabs (aahhh. Silence. Best part of vacation, no?)

But guess what, campers? There’s one more exciting camp coming up…and it’s Mommy’s favorite! CAMPGRANDMA is back! That’s right, pack up your bags and let’s go visit Grandma and Grandpa where you’ll be treated to a trip on Grandpa’s boat, unlimited spoiling, and bad behavior without consequences! Plus waffles. Have fun, kiddies!

In the meantime, Mommy will be hanging out over at CAMPHAPPYNAPPY and will see you in a few days! (or, Labor Day?)