I went to CPR Training yesterday so that I could learn to save the girls in my Gal Sprout troop if necessary (of course, I would fail miserably, because if something happened to one of those girls *I* am the one who would need resuscitation.)
First we had to make out with this hot CPR dummy:
Don’t judge.
Then we learned all the important stuff like not getting hit by a car if you’re trying to give CPR on the road, and that calling 911 is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY important.
But not if it’s a kid. If you are giving CPR to a kid or baby, you are supposed to do the compressions and breaths first THEN call 911. And we learned how to use these masks to help do CPR, and they like create a seal around the person’s face.
So I have this little creepy doll in front of me and I am trying to figure out how to tilt the head back, breathe and do the 2-finger compression thing at the same time when I can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time under normal circumstances, and then something occurred to me.
This mask is covering the baby’s ENTIRE FACE! So I raise my hand to slightly hysterically ask the instructor this:
“How is the baby going to breathe while we are doing compressions with this mask over its face??!”
And she calmly responded,
“Um, the baby is not breathing, which is why you are doing CPR.”
I totally knew that.
Life save FAIL.
So this is how the baby looked in my nightmare last night:
This reminds me of the episode of The Office when Dwight cuts the face off the dummy during the CPR class and puts it on his face. Douchetastic!
thanks for that last pic, it's now going to haunt my dreams, at least for today's naptime.
Where can my girl join the Gal Sprouts, can't find anything about them on the net *snickers*
melinda´s last blog ..Pee vs Play
YIKES! Okay so I really need to take that class but I just don't want those nightmares!!
Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Bundled At The Beach
Yikes, I do not recall the ones from my class being so horrid.
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..To tell or not to tell
The last time I took CPR training was when I was in the Gal Sprouts…long time ago. Over the years I've learned that the only thing I'm good for in an emergency is calling 911. I can't help you but I can get someone here that can.
Loved meeting you!
I found some even creepier dolls (http://craftastrophe.net/2010/03/souls-overrated/).
I read once that you're supposed to sing Queen's "another one bites the dust" when doing chest compressions to establish the right frequency. I think that's just plain mean. Couldn't they have picked a song that was a little more sensitive to the dead person's feelings? Wait, they're already dead right? This is so confusing…
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Pubic Enemy #1
I saw a similar article! But… it gave two song choices. The other one was the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive." I think that is much more in the spirit of rescue
kathi´s last blog ..Another new title for Freya!
ROFL! That's awesome. Ok, maybe not the dream baby part.
Angelia´s last blog ..Death of an Icon
For some reason, I now feel less guilty for not knowing CPR. But still. I should learn it. Creepy babies and all. Sheesh.
Jane Lively´s last blog ..Rated R
That last pic is so creepy!
Michelle´s last blog ..?Owwwwiieeeee My nose is broken
Oy, that is more than a little disturbing. I thought the adult-size crash test dummies in my CPR class were creepy. The little guys are just wrong.
Brahm´s last blog ..Edmonton says "There's an app for that…"
I will now have nightmares for the rest of my life. Thanks for nothing.
Stefanie´s last blog ..my eight year old convict – the conclusion
LMAO!!! Why did they give you guys such creepy and scary looking dolls?? Who wants to save a baby that looks like a cross between Tales of the Crypt and I Am Legend???
They should switch their philosophy and give you guys really cute looking dolls/kids worthy of actually saving.
But then again, that might attract a bunch of ole white molester Pervs. On second thought, stick with the little zombie like freaks.
If you can save one of those, a real kid will be a walk in the park. LOL
Brett´s last blog ..African Americans Boycott Black History Month
OMG! I am so gonna have little creepy baby nightmares tonight!! thanks..lol
Gadgerson´s last blog ..When Strangers become friends…
CPR class freaks me out enough, without the dolls looking so terrifying as well. I thought the whole point was to save lives, not have yours scared out of you!
http://www.happyhypochondriac.com
Kat Spitzer´s last blog ..The Wrong Number
You know I’m pregnant right?!?! Omg, I can’t even handle the thought..shit. Now I need to sign up for CPR crap and get a mask to cover my baby’s entire face in case he stops breathing and…
hormone overload. Must eat cake.
Honestly, I laughed my ass off at this. Bless your heart! Let’s hope all this life saving information doesn’t ever need to be used. But if it does, you will totally kick ass at saving a baby’s life. YOU WILL! xx
Mesina´s last blog ..Mother nature is kickin’ my ass, do you mind?
LOL, I have to share this Mary. Cos I just got done with my comment and I looked up to see Google Translate bar up and it says:
”This page is in Italian. Translate it using Google Toolbar?”
Dude. You’re Italian also…fuckin sexy.
Mesina´s last blog ..Mother nature is kickin’ my ass, do you mind?
I think she may be plotting your own death with a large plastic piece that covers your face!
AHHHHHH! Run for your lives!
Sunday Stilwell´s last blog ..Its Premier Night!
Aaaaagh! Scary! You may never watch my child. Just sayin'
Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings´s last blog ..Mommy and Me Day. . . Worth the wait.
Ok – didn't need to see the 'Chucky"-like image. I'll be having pleasant dreams tonight, I'm sure.
Your CPR experience sounds very similar to mine a couple years ago. Nice to know it isn't just me! Also, am happy that my daughter's GS troop leader is a first aid trainer – so I will hopefully always be the last resort!
Sweet Dreams!
SheSaid/HeSaid´s last blog ..Everything is Negotiable
what REALLY frightened me was trying to put the shocker-thingies on the adult body's chest in the right places. did you have to learn to do that too? eek!
my mom learned cpr in high school and when she was in her 40's, she saved a woman's life. it comes in handy.
Oh, God. My overactive imagination just went into hyperdrive. Nightmare-inducing photos. Gah.
Hi. I am one of your facebook friends I think. Anyhoot — great blog and nice post. Entertaining. Are you sure you're not one of my gemini personalities?
My GAL SPROUT council doesn’t require INFANT CPR, and I find it odd that yours does? Or am I reading more into this? But I do agree that the baby is creepy!