Yesterday my oldest daughter got her learner’s permit.
To drive.
A car.
More specifically: my car (a 2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee) which she immediately began referring to as ‘her car.’ (which SHOULD mean I get a new one, but doesn’t because having a car payment again isn’t really in the budget…)
In case you don’t happen to have an infant baby that you gave birth to after 11 hours of back labor actually DRIVING the car you are RIDING in yet, let me tell you what it is like.
It’s nervefuckingwracking.
Of course, after passing the computerized test (she got 17 out of 20 right. Guess how many you need to pass? 17. Squeaked by, that girl) she wanted to drive home. With me and her four year old brother (currently my infant) in the car.
I wanted to say no. There were many reasons why- it’s like 15 miles home, there are innocent children on school buses (including your sisters) on the road now, I don’t want to die, etc.
But the MVA lady had handed me a booklet, in which I was to log 60 hours of driving before she could take her driver’s test, and my husband and I had each given her a few (white knuckle) lessons, and bottom line: I trust her…so I let her drive.
She did fine. See, in the pic above? Hands at 10 and 2, not texting (she says this is called ‘driving while intextuated’ and knows if I ever catch her even THINKING about driving while texting, the iphone goes out the window off the bridge into the Chesapeake Bay). Random parental driving fact: the oddest part for me was sitting in the passenger seat and watching the road- I kept thinking she was too far to the middle of the road, but it was because I was too far to the right- so like, we don’t usually watch the road when our spouse is driving, and it was weirdly disorienting… that, and the having my life flash before my eyes. Other than that, it was fine.
In a small town, everything is very close to everything. So last night, she had to work at her job at the library, I had a yoga class with friends and we were going next door to the bar afterwards (because what’s better after Happy Nappy than a martini?). So as it ended up, she walked from the library over to where I was, at the bar, and then drove me home, leading my friends and I to conclude that we now officially had a designated driver.
FINALLY- those hours of back labor have paid off.
But what kind of sorry ass excuse for a mother lets her kid drive her home from the bar on the kid’s first day of driving? Me, apparently. Besides, it was only one martini- and if you don’t think you need a stiff drink the first day you see your kid drive a car, you haven’t been in the passenger seat yet.
Now, instead of driving me nuts…she’s driving me home.
I am sure that my mom felt that way when I was learning to drive. Only her b/f at the time taught me to drive instead of her, so when I went to school and had driver's ed, I could actually miss about half the class ( and did) and still pass with my license! Yay me!
I have this joy coming up in August. I never considered the option of martinis and designated drivers. I am now looking forward to the whole thing. Thanks ever so much
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Excellent news! Now at least I have something substantial to look forward to. (Least they could do for givng me massive amounts of grey hair and wrinkles.)
JenniferG of Hip As I Wanna Be´s last blog ..The Library Is Ruining My Credit Rating
The only thing I keep paying attention to is yoga and martini! They go hand in hand (I think).
so, don't feel bad, b/c here's the thing. ever since my boyfriend's son turned *13* we've been counting down the days until he's old enough to drive so he can 1) cart our drunk asses around 2) run out to five guys to get us through the day after. this is normal. i mean, you've spent your whole life carting her around, and i'd say it's high time to get a little of that back. so take a swig, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!
Perfectly reasonable. And very handy to have.
Karen@Mignardise´s last blog ..Pop on Over for Breakfast
Is everyone who reads this blog younger than me? Cause my kid is growed up, mostly. And now *shudders* he is a better driver than I am. Which, when you get to the point where you realize that, is another milestone, reminding you of your own freakin' mortality.
wren´s last blog ..Elevator Buttons
"Driving while intextucated" may be the most awesome thing I've heard in a long time. Driving!! Man, I was thrilled when my kid could start making a pop tart for breakfast on the weekends and let me sleep in. I think your life's about to get a lot easier…if you can stand the stress.
Gray Matter Matters´s last blog ..They say "Sharing is Caring," but…
Hubs and I have totally had my teenager drop us of curbside at the bar and pick our drunk asses up later!
Hey, I shoved her out, the least she can do is pick my drunk ass up! WAY cheaper than a cab!
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LOL. That is awesome having a designated driver. That was smart of you. Why drive after even 1 drink if your daughter was perfectly capable of driving you home. I don't see anything wrong with that. I have a 14 yr old so I will be in the passanger seat soon enough. Good luck. Sounds like you have about 58 more hours in the passanger seat. LOL.
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Think of it as setting a good example. Always have a designated driver. Although legally, I believe you still have to be sober, which you were, as the passenger, until she is fully licensed or it may even be until she's 18. Not sure and it may vary from state to state. I've been thru this twice and one more to go. I so want one of those cars with the brakes on the passenger side too.
That's how I learned to drive stick – necessity is the mother of invention, right? I just didn't realize MY MOTHER would be the NECESSITY.
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Drivin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
Bad mother, I think not, more like smart thinking mom! Especially since it was only one drink, but a designated driver can come in handy in so many occassions! LOL…..I love this, your stories make my morning so much better.
LaQuita @Everydaymoms´s last blog ..How To: Rose Bath Oil
Been there, done that TWICE. My oldest, at 20, drove me yesterday due to my sprained ankle, and even after 3 yrs of driving (not me, himself) he still gets me on edge. I did in fact, tell him to slow the fuck down, on one occasion yesterday!
Youngest, at 17, almost had me down for the count. He did NOT get his license at 16 (here in CA, that's the legal age) due to his attitude. He was almost 17. Even still, I don't let them drive me anywhere.
I highly recommend Bach's "Rescue Remedy" in the pastilles. I'm normally not homeopathic, but these little babies came in handy during the phase you're going through. Not even close to the effects of a Valium, yet takes the edge right off.
Welcome to my world! Stiff drink is def. needed! Wish I had thought of it.Besides the bar isn't far from your house. Practice is practice! U crack me up!
At the grand age of 25 (almost 26) my father still doesnt like to sit in the front with my whilst I am driving. I am a good driver – honest! I mean it wasnt really my fault when I went into the back of that van that one time…..
Seriously relax with her and she will realax too. Not too much though as you want her to be alert and perceptive to all hazards which may occur
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LOL I totally plan to have my boys pick me up from the bar one day.
Oh god, I am sooooo dreading this. Although, being as how my oldest is 12, and you can’t get a provisional licence here until you are 17, I have a few years to prepare myself.
I’ll spend the next 5 years saving up for driving lessons, because I KNOW I don’t have the patience to sit with a learner! LoL
My youngest just got his permit about 2 or three weeks ago and it is nerve wracking! I guess all of those video games have paid off though because he is actually doing pretty good- he tends to be a lead foot though **hmmm wonder where he gets that from?** I have to keep reminding him to SLOW DOWN…
But it IS surreal to see your baby driving…
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Mary, if you think sitting in the passenger’s seat while they drive is nerve-wracking (and I agree), wait until they get in the car to drive themselves to school – alone! I had to stop myself from following my oldest to school to make sure she got there in one piece. And she still has to call me once she is safe in the parking lot.
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Oh My. I am not looking forward to having to teach Son to drive! But to have a designated driver……… might be worth it.
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i am not looking forward to my kids getting their license.
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My 16-year-old stepson has NO INTENTION of getting his license any time soon. Not that I'd be in the passenger seat with him driving anyway. I'll leave that up to his dad. Maybe I can drink martinis from the back seat and heckle them.
Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Training Montage
why didnt I think of that???
–>I think it was the most responsible thing to do and I take advantage of my 17-year old stepson to be our DD on occasion too. If he's with us while we're drinking at a friend's house, he might as well drive us home. It's a good lesson to teach! See! Teachable moment – - take that Oprah!
~deb
WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Fun in the Snow
I did a blog on this also when my son go this license last June. It's been 6 months. It gets a little easier, but it's just about the scariest thing I've been through as a parent. The only thing worse is when they get the license and THEN FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER HORMONE INFESTED TEENAGER and want to take your car out all the time. THAT IS worse than getting the actual license. 8 months from now, I've gotta go down the same damn road with #2.
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My oldest just turned 19, and I remember the permit days well! Unfortunately, it is illegal to be the dd on a learner's permit where we live, and my son, who is a stickler for following the rules, refused until he got the real thing at 16.
Hey, it's a win-win. It's good practice for her, and you can have a drink or two. In fact, make it two, since you have a designated driver already
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My eight year old is afraid of learning to drive. She can't get her head around the fact that in another 8 years she won't be the same person she is now.
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For what it's worth, after I got my license Mom & Dad made me log 500 miles of driving with one of them in the car, change a tire, and jump the battery before I was allowed to drive solo. I CAN'T BELIEVE how many people can't change a tire!