Put Some OOPH Into It
19
Ok if I make it through the entire month with only two guest posts I did ok, right?
Because, honestly? If I had thought of guest posting earlier in the month I would have invited all my blogger peeps and not written a word for the whole month! But as it is, I’m an effing moron, and didn’t think of it until the day before I left for Disney.*
But today I am LUCKY to welcome a NON effing moron, Stefanie from ooph.com (@ooph on twitter- go. stalk.) stop over here to Pajamas and Coffee and deliver the following guest post**:

Horny Isn’t Just for Toads
by Stefanie at ooph.com
Yesterday I walked a friend through setting up her Facebook account. I had just said, “the most important thing to know is that everything you post on your wall or anyone else’s can be viewed by everyone”, when my Facebook screen changed because someone had posted a new “status” report.
For those of you not on Facebook, each day when you log on at the top of your home page it says “Stefanie is” and then you fill in the blank with your status. Hopefully something interesting, but as people prove daily, sometimes not so much.
I look to see who has just posted and it is my 13 year old son Keenan.
Keenan
aka: Kman
Age: 14
“Special” Qualities: Door slamming, stomping and eye rolling (can do it all in one impressive motion).
Best Qualities: The softest kindest heart, hysterical and quite charming when he tries..
His status? “Keenan is horny”. I seriously spit my water across the room. Not kidding, right out of a movie, spit my water out.
I reread his status and see that my younger son’s friend has already read and commented on Keenan’s status with “wow”. Panic sets in as I begin imagining all of the parents of our kid’s friends reading about my 13 year olds desire to have sex with their daughters. I start to write a comment of my own that goes something like this, “You are soooooo grounded”, but remembered reading an article about Facebook no-nos if you want your kids not to hide their account from you.
Instead, I formulate a brilliant plan. One that will mortify my son beyond words. Thus causing him to think these things through in the future and never embarrassing himself or me on Facebook again.
I text him these four words, “How horny are you?”
Within five seconds, Quick Draw Mcgraw hits me back with, “WHAT????????”
Feeling quite smug, I hit back, “I saw what you posted on Facebook.”
He responds with, “What are you TALKING about?”
Uh oh. The story unfolds like this. Keenan had checked his Facebook account on his friend’s iphone (because all 13 year olds should have iphones) but neglected to log off. His friend thought it would be hysterical to post that his buddy Keenan was horny.
Thankfully my son has a really good sense of humor. When he got in the car that afternoon he took one look at me and busted out laughing. As I drifted off to sleep last night I kept thinking the same thing over and over again, “No 13 year old boy should EVER receive a text from his mother saying, ‘How horny are you?’”
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*as you read this I am probably in line for the Haunted Mansion for the 1,366th time. Yeah. It’s my fave.
** If it wasn’t BEYOND FREAKIN CREEPY I would say the ooph kid is totally cute.








That is freaking hilarious! Poor kid needs therapy now.
I once sent a message to my son that was too long and got seperated into 2 texts. He got the second one first which read “F school”. I think his first thought was, “sweet! my mom’s telling me F*** school!”
it’s like my worlds have collided, and all I can taste is the rainbow.
Great guest post! My daughters are too young, but that day will come so horribly quickly for me!
Brilliant! I love this
I have witnessed such events between my neices many a times and sometimes even when it is them that posted it I pretend it was someone else ;P
This is SOOOOO funny! A friend of mine, who is 30 years old by the way, works part time at a bar and leaves her phone around when she is busy. For some reason the other ppl at the bar think it’s funny to take her phone and post these obscene status updates. I actually deleted her on my FB because of it. 13 I can sort of understand…..30 I cannot. LOL!
OMG that is too funny! I think I would have vomited in my mouth reading that. Yikes!
How horny are you? Bwahaha! Definitely not something I want to get via text from my mother!
Great guest post! VERY funny! And I agree – he’s a cutie. In a 14 year old kinda of way of course.
OMG…..I can not even imagine what was going through that kid’s head……..LMAO! When my kids post ‘embarrassing to me’ stuff, I just take it FWIW….and think to myself that we’ve come a loooong way since I was a teen. Like I’d ever of let my parents in on anything social going on in my life.
You handled that beautifully. Good job, Mom… Now how many gray hairs did it give you?
My favorite ride is the Haunted Mansion too! I would ride it all day! Do they still sell those wire dog leashes so it looks like you’re walking an invisible dog? Get me one!
Stephanie, that was BEYOND funny! “How horny are you?!!!” LOL!
Steph,
I love you here, I love you there, I love you everywhere.
Best laugh of the day, right here.
K
OMG!!
I died laughing. I could see me doing that to my kid.
But Midd Drama Queen would have cried, screamed recriminations, launched into an uncontrollable and never ending wailing of lost social status and the treat of NEVER, EVER being able to leave the house again because all 50 states and some international countries can now see and are reviling in her humiliation.
Though…it might be fun. heehee
Sadly, I get those types of notes from my mom every day…it’s possible we “share” too much in my fam.
This cracked me up. I’m not sure how I would have handled that…not that smoothly, I’m sure!
Well done!
I’m glad my kids aren’t yet old enough for facebook pages.
Hilarious! Something to look forward to as #1 is quickly approaching preteenhood.
Thanks for all the love. Is there a greater pleasure in our parenting screw ups than the laughter of others? NO there isn’t. Laugh on sisters.
Thank you SO very much for the opportunity to guest on one of my favorite blogs MaryMac. Hugs, kisses and love flying at you.
LOL I could actually see that happening. And then I was afraid to know it could. That’s way too soon for me.
Thanks again to Stef from @ooph for churning out the laughs while I was away. Glad to be home and see all the happy love back here at PJ&C- missed you guys!
That’s so freakin funny! My daughter deleted her great aunt because she was stalking her page.lol